


Lucid Dreams: Silver Eyes

by LuminousLake



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Adoption, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But is it really?, Fluff and Angst, Hide-centric, M/M, Single Parents, Smut, Supernatural Elements, hidekane, kanehide - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2020-02-28 21:05:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18764200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuminousLake/pseuds/LuminousLake
Summary: Hide stared down at the small bundle that had been placed in his arms. Silver eyes stared steadily back him. It had to be a coincidence, right?





	1. Chapter 1

Hide wondered not for the first time if it was possible to die from a broken heart, and if so, why hadn’t he passed on to the afterlife yet.

 

With trembling hands, Hide turned off the faucet after splashing cold water on his face to help shake off the remnants of his most recent nightmare that caused sweat and tears to pour down his face. It wasn’t getting easier, he had thought bitterly, his hand absently rubbing the scarred skin of his neck that twinged with phantom pain. And moving away from Tokyo hadn’t helped much either. He let out a small sigh that echoed though his tiny bathroom before grabbing a towel to wipe off his damp face. He then peered into the mirror and grimaced at what he saw. He was…healing, though the process was slow, and he was still quite a sight that could easily scare small children.

 

_Was it worth it?_

Hide flinched a voice in the back of his head asked this question once again. It too had come as frequently as his nightmares. Before, he could answer the question quickly and with confidence. Of course, it had been worth it, because his best friend was worth it. But now, after a good deal of time had passed and the feeling of loneliness never dissipating the human found hard to answer that question the same as he always had.

 

With another sigh, Hide left his bathroom and headed towards the kitchen. Despite it being only four o’clock in the morning he knew it was better to stay awake instead of going back to sleep where his nightmares were surely waiting for him.

 

 

**~*OoOoO*~**

“Here’s your prescription, Nagachika-san,” said the young female pharmacy attendant with a smile. “I hope you have a wonderful day.”

 

“Thanks, you as well,” Hide replied, trying to return the smile the best way he could. He tucked his medication into his shopping cart and decided to pick up a few things for his apartment. Ramen, instant coffee, Pop-Tarts, and tv dinners had kind of become a staple of his life as of late since he was usually too busy with his job helping with detective work to cook proper meals. Also, putting effort into making a meal that he would just eat by himself felt like a waste.

 

The blonde continued his trek through the store, grabbing toilet paper, toothpaste, paper towels, and the like before he found himself standing in the store’s small toy section. He briefly entertained the idea of sending something to Kaneki’s daughter, but decided against it. Kaneki and Touka had stated that Ichika had too many toys already.

 

 _‘That, and I’m not supposed to be thinking about them so much. I moved away so I could focus on my own life and not treat them like they’re a priority!’_ Hide thought fiercely. With that in mind, Hide decided he would buy himself something from this aisle. A brightly colored stuffed animal would help liven up his dull apartment.

 

After looking through the selections, Hide settled on a large, sky-blue Shiba inu body pillow to be his new companion. Satisfied with his pick he turned to leave, only to have someone bump into him. Instinctively, he reached out to keep them from falling. “Are you alright?” he asked once the older woman was settled.

 

“Yes, I’m fine. Sorry about running into…oh!” The woman’s eyes widened when she got a good look at Hide’s face.

 

“I-Is something the matter?” Hide asked, a little worried for the other person.

 

“No, no I was just surprised. You look awfully like someone I know. It’s almost uncanny. Tell me, young man, have you been here long?”

 

There was something in the woman’s tone that almost sounded like an accusation nestled within the polite speech. “No ma’am, I haven’t. I just moved to this location three months ago.”

 

“…I see,” she eventually said, her brown eyes softening. “Forgive me for all of that. You just looked so much like them that I thought I found the right person after all this time.”

 

“Was it something bad?” Hide asked, a little fearful that he might have an evil doppelganger running amok.

 

“Oh no, nothing like that!” the woman said with a small laugh. “Here, let me just…” reaching into her purse, she pulled out her phone, tapped a few buttons and showed Hide the picture on the small screen.

 

“…Huh.” Hide managed as he continued to look at the picture of small infant child with a head of light blond hair and large silver eyes. He wouldn’t lie and say that the baby favored him a little. Okay, maybe even a lot. Though the baby’s hair was a few shades lighter than his own and the eyes…the only person with eyes like that was hundreds of miles away from here. This would explain the woman’s earlier behavior; she must’ve thought he was deadbeat father or something! He opened his mouth to try proclaim his innocence, but was stopped when the woman patted his arm.

 

“It’s alright. You don’t look like the type who try to shirk his responsibilities as a father.” She paused for a second before muttering something under her breath. “That and the story behind this little one is pretty…odd…”

 

“I’m sorry,” Hide said anyway, the tone in his voice then turning wistful. “I would’ve loved to have had a child of my own, but…” He coughed in order to remove the sudden lump in his throat. “…I don’t think that’s in the cards for me, at least not in this lifetime.”

 

“Now don’t say that!” the woman chided. “You’re still plenty young and I can tell you have a good heart. Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

 

Heat rose to Hide’s cheeks and he thanked the woman for kind words. She patted his arm again before she had to excuse herself to finish her errands.

 

“A Matron’s work is never done,” the older woman said in a tired, yet fond voice as she loaded her shopping cart with toys, and stuffed animals, and even a few body pillows, one that Hide was so close to picking due to its silver cat design and soft smile on its face that reminded him so much of Kaneki that it hurt.

 

“A matron? Do you work at an orphanage?” Hide asked as he helped her retrieve a board game from off the top shelf. That would explain her appearance. A long, dark dress with a cream-colored apron, and her greying brown hair done up in a messy bun. She had a motherly look to her.

 

“Yep! My name Emiko Nara and I work at the orphanage a few blocks from here.”

 

“Hideyoshi Nagachika, but please call me Hide.” After the two departed company, Hide left the store feeling a certain amount of peace that he hadn’t felt in a long while.

 

**~*OoOoO*~**

 

**_June 23 Last Year(Excerpt)_**

****

_“I love you.”_

_Hide smiled as the afterglow settled in. The warm body on top of his both grounding and provided him with comfort that he once felt would never be given to him again. Looking past his lover, he could see a large sun and moon dancing about in the purple, red, and yellow tinted sky. There was a breeze that helped cool his overheated body, and with it came the petals from the surrounding flowers swirling around them._

‘Ah this a dream,’ _Hide thought absently. No way such a beautiful place could exist in real life, nor would be with his dream lover . Still, he clung to his little piece of happiness a little tighter, rubbing his hands though stark white hair. His lover pulled back, smiling happily at him before leaning in for another kiss. The once spent length inside of him began to harden and soon Hide found himself lost in the waves of pleasure._

_“Ah! Kaneki, I…(gasp) I love you, too!”_

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	2. Chapter 2

**_August 1 Last Year (Excerpt)_ **

****

_Hide wondered how long he was going to be stuck coming back to this dream world. Not that he would ever tire of his beautiful surroundings, and wonderful sense of peace that he felt whenever he entered this place, but he knew his time here wouldn’t last forever. He was currently sitting alone on the porch, looking out a the sea of flowers that surround the area while he waited for Dream-Kaneki to show up._

_It was an oddity Hide had yet to figure out. Sometimes Kaneki would be waiting for him and other times Hide would arrive first and have to wait for Kaneki. And despite knowing this was a dream, the blonde had no control over anything that happened here. So, no matter how hard Hide tried to conjure up his companion it would never work. It was almost as if…_

_“Hide.”_

_Said human turned in time to see Kaneki appear right before he was swept up in a pair of strong arms. A kiss was shared between them, long and passionate, and Hide held onto the apparition of his desire with the same desperation he had since he first stared having this dream almost two months ago. Clothes were divested and emboldened hands touched everywhere they could. Hide could feel all his early questions leave his mind as he gave himself fully to his lover._

**~*OoOoO*~**

 

Hide groaned when his cellphone chirped from where it was perched on his nightstand beside his bed. Blindly, he reached for it, missing a few times before he managed to grab ahold of the noisy device. One of the few nights he managed to sleep without any nightmares and of course someone just had to call him early in the morning.

 

“H’lo?” Hide groused tiredly into the speaker.

 

“Hey Hide,” greeted a familiar voice.

 

Instantly, the human felt more awake and he found himself sitting up in his bed. Inwardly, he berated himself for getting so excited over this.

 

“Kaneki, hey! Long time, no talk! How have you and the family been?”

 

“Everyone is doing well. Work has been pretty busy, but that doesn’t compare to how busy I am now with Ichika-chan. She’s definitely in the “Terrible Two’s” stage.”

 

Hide smiled when he thought about the adorable, little girl. “Aw, I can’t image Ichika-chan being anything other than a perfect angel.”

 

“Kaneki laughed. “Yeah, say that after you babysit her again. If you can get her down for her nap without a fuss, I’d gladly name you Babysitter Supreme!”

 

“I’ll take that bet! You should know by now that my babysitting skills are unparalleled!”

 

“Then I look forward to seeing you back in Tokyo soon to prove it. Ichika-chan misses you. I miss you.”

 

Hide found himself struggling to respond to that. Just hearing that his dearest friend missed him caused his cheeks to warm and tears to well up in his eyes.

 

“I miss you too,” Hide said, after finally swallowing the lump on his throat, “Ah listen, I just remembered I have some thing I need to take care of, so I’ll have to call you back later.”

 

“Oh...” The half-ghoul sounded disappointed. “I understand. I’ll talk to you later then?”

 

“Of course. Say hello to Ichika-chan and Touka-chan for me.”

 

When the call ended, Hide buried his into his newly acquired body pillow and screamed long and hard until he was out of breath. Exhausted, he flopped back onto his bed and stared listlessly at his ceiling while waiting for his pounding heart to settle down. Suddenly, he let out a small laugh.

 

“You know what, Suki?” he asked his stuffed animal pillow, clutching it tighter in his arms. “That was one of the shortest calls I’ve ever had with Kaneki and this was the first time I’ve ever hung up first.” And wasn’t that the truth? Usually, the human could spend hours talking to his best friend without ever getting bored even if they were talking about nothing. Thinking back on it, it was kind of embarrassing to be so attached to a person that would never return his feelings that simply hearing his voice would make him happy. “This is progress, right?” Suki didn’t say anything, but Hide liked to believe that the smile stitched on her face was offering him the encouragement he needed to finally move on.

 

“Progress…” Hide mumbled, settling back down to catch a few more minutes of sleep before he had to go to work later.

 

**~*OoOoO*~**

“Raccoon-chan, it’s 12:30. You know what that means, right?”

 

Hide blinked tiredly, dragging his eyes away from his computer screen to stare at the older man who had greying black hair, a stubbled chin, and a pair of wire-rim glasses standing beside his desk with a cup of coffee in hand. “Huh? Oh, Daisuke-senpai. What was that?”

 

Daisuke was the lead detective at the precinct Hide joined two months prior. Their division  was responsible for differentiating homicides done by humans and ghouls and solving them accordingly. He was a nice, yet firm man, competent at his job, and Hide was glad to be working under him as his assistant.

 

“It’s lunch time,” Daisuke reiterated. “Time for you to get some fresh air and go grab some lunch. You’ve been working non-stop ever since you came in and I see you’ve been neglecting getting a proper night’s rest again.”

 

“Hey! I managed to get close to seven hours of sleep last night,” the assistant detective protested, though he rubbed at the stubborn dark bags underneath his eyes, hence the name “Raccoon-chan”. “But since you insist, I guess I’ll head to the café up the street. Do you want me to bring you something back?” He hoped the answer would be yes.

 

“Oh no, you don’t,” the older man said, wagging a finger in the blonde’s face. “You’ll just use that as an excuse to cut your break short and try to work more. You’ve been working yourself ragged enough as it is. Go take your lunch and don’t try to come back early unless there’s an emergency!”

 

“But Boss…!” the younger male whined. Working was the only time Hide felt close to being his old self. If there was one thing Hide still found enjoyable in life, it was knowing that if he put forth the effort and worked hard at something, it would pay off in the end. He had lost faith in that after what had happened with Kaneki, but after landing this job he found himself having that familiar drive again. Nevertheless, the young man let himself be shuffled out of the building. Who knows, maybe this break would be good for him.

 

**~*OoOoO*~**

 

After grabbing a sandwich, a couple of donuts, and a cup of coffee from the local café, Hide decided it might be nice to spend his lunch at the park for a change. He was in luck because the park wasn’t too crowded at the time, so it was easy to find a bench in a secluded area of the park to eat his lunch without having to worry about anyone seeing his scarred face. The sun felt good on his skin, and breeze carried fresh scent flowers that were planted near by.

 

_‘This feels nice,’_ Hide thought to himself, letting his tired chocolate brown eyes drift closed. How long had it been since he allowed himself to be out like this? He had turned into something of a recluse, only going back and forth from his home to work with the occasional stop to the grocery store. Was that all his life was now? A flash of irritation surged through him and with it came the resolve to be apart of the world once more. _‘Progress,’_ he thought. He would continue to move forward.

 

The blonde’s inner musings came to a halt when he heard the sound of laughing children. Opening his eyes, Hide saw a small group of children being led by two female adults as they headed towards the playground area. He blinked in surprise when he recognized one of the women from the other day at the store. She spotted him when he waved at her and she happily wave back. Hide then watched as the older woman say something to her companion before she started over to where he was sitting while pushing a light blue baby stroller.

 

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The anticipated first meeting! Whoo! Sorry this took so long.

**_September 03 Last Year (Excerpt)_ **

_“It’s slowly getting bigger.”_

_“And who’s fault do you think that is?”_

_*Pinch*_

_“Ouch!”_

_“I don’t recall you ever trying to stop me.”_

_“W-Well, I never thought that_ this _would ever happen!”_

_“Hmm true, but I’m so glad that it did. Aren’t you?”_

_“…Of course I am.”_

_“Have you come up with any names yet?”_

_“Not yet, but I’m sure we’ll have the perfect name when the time is right.”_

**~*OoOoO*~**

 

Upon seeing the older woman heading in his direction Hide quickly slipped back on his mask and moved his things to make more room for Emiko to sit on the bench. “It’s good to see you again, Emiko-san,” he said when she was close enough. “How have you been?”

 

The woman gratefully sat down on the offered seat with a heavy sigh. “Exhausted from taking care of these little ones, but I’ve been doing fine. I thought today was a good day to take the kids to park, I wasn’t expecting to see you here, but I’m so glad that I did.”

 

Hide cocked his head to side in confusion at this before he let his brown eyes drop to the blue stroller that the matron had brought with her. His heart suddenly lurched at the possibility, and the way Emiko’s eyes were twinkling it appeared that his suspicions were correct.

 

“Emiko-san…is that…?” Hide watched with bated breath as the woman pulled back the stroller’s canopy. Inside was a beautiful baby boy with light blonde hair that gleamed in the afternoon sun and silver eyes that were peering up at him. His breath caught in his throat and the feeling of warmth exploded in his chest. He could almost swear that he’s felt this way before, but only in a distant memory. “He’s beautiful…”

 

Emiko smiled warmly at this. “His name is Hinata and he’s eleven months old. Would you like to hold him?” she had asked, even though she was already reaching for the baby.

 

Hide felt nervous. “I…would that be okay?” He got his answer when she gently transferred the baby from the carriage and into his arms. Silver colored eyes looked up at him with awe and curiosity, a look that all babies seemed to have when they encountered something new. Hide found himself relaxing a little as the warm feeling in his chest grew the longer he held the baby boy. “Hey Little guy, my name is Hide. It’s very nice to meet you.” Hide said softly, taking one of the baby’s pudgy hands into his own. He laughed when the baby gripped his finger with considerable strength that babies were known for. “My, my so stron…ack!”

 

“Sorry, I forgot to warn you that Hinata is pretty grabby along with being strong,” Emiko said with a giggle after the blonde baby yanked hard on Hide’s tie. “You’ve done this before, right?” she asked, impressed, as she watched the blonde man cradle the baby with practiced ease despite nearly being strangled. Her heart melted at the sight of young man cooing sweetly at the smaller blonde, who was giggling happily.

 

“Yes, I used to babysit my best friend and his wife’s daughter back when I lived in Tokyo.” He smiled to himself, thinking back to the very first time he held little Ichika in his arms. He had truly been happy for his friend even if his heart was broken. Carefully, he fished his cell phone out of his pocket while balancing Hinata on his lap, pulling up a picture before handing the device over to Emiko. “Here’s a picture of all of them.”

 

Emiko studied the picture that contained a happy looking family, first the mother, then the father and finally the darling little girl who had her mother’s violet eyes and her father’s white hair. She then noticed something and studied the father a little harder. When she realized what she was looking at she turned her attention back to the baby his Hide’s arms, wide eyed.

 

“Is there something wrong, Emiko-san?” Hide asked when he noticed her staring.

 

“…No, it’s nothing,” the woman said with a shake of her head, choosing to keep her thoughts to herself. “Ah careful Hide, Hinata is trying to grab your…”

 

Her warning came too late. A sudden tug on his mask took Hide by surprise and before he could do anything about it the mask slipped off his face, baring his face to the world. Hide felt himself freeze in horror as memories of Ichika and her scared wails flooded his mind and he began cursing himself for letting it happen again. Brown eyes squeezed shut, he waited for the inevitable cries to begin.

 

A moment passed. And then another before the man felt a tiny hand touch his scarred cheek. Cautiously, he opened his eyes to see Hinata’s silver ones gazing up at him without a trace of fear in them. Hide slowly exhaled a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Timidly, he offered the baby a small smile, still wary that the crying could start at any time.

 

“Abbada…” Hinata gurgled, returning the smile. He released his death grip on Hide’s tie to bring his other hand up to his face, stroking the healing scars curiously. “Dabada?”

 

“No…they d-don’t hurt anymore…” Hide answered and could feel tears cascading down his cheeks, but for the first time in years they were tears of relief and joy rather than sadness. Emiko slid closer to wrap an arm around his trembling shoulders and Hide let himself sink into the warmth and contentment he hadn’t felt in a long time.

 

**~*OoOoO*~**

 

Upon making it home in the evening, Hide took a shower and started getting ready for bed. His mood was still light and content from this afternoon after his unexpected meeting with Hinata and Emiko and he wondered how it was possible to be so happy from meeting someone. Even his co-workers and boss had noticed his sudden improved mood enough to comment and ask questions about it. Hide had only shrugged, brown eyes twinkling with mirth and said it was a secret.

 

On the living room table, his cellphone chirped, indicated that he had a new message. He grabbed it, settling on the couch and opened the message that was sent from Emiko. The two had exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch. The old matron had even invited Hide to the orphanage to celebrate Hinata’s first birthday that was coming up soon. To say Hide was touched to be invited to such an occasion would be an understatement. He had promised the older woman that he would do everything in his power to attend the party and would bring gifts.

 

Hide opened the text and saw that it was a picture of little baby Hinata in his nightclothes which consisted of a light blue onesie with pale yellow rabbits on them. He was currently sleeping in his crib with the silver cat plushie Hide had seen Emiko buy during their first meeting. Again, Hide felt his heart melt at the sight of the baby boy and quickly sent back a text thanking Emiko for such a cute picture. This and the picture she had secretly taken of Hide and Hinata smiling at each other at the park were already very precious to him.

 

Along with the picture were details about the time and date for Hinata’s birthday party, March 19th at noon.

 

…March 19th

 

Something about that date had been buzzing in the male’s mind since that afternoon, though he didn’t know the reason why. Closing his eyes, he tried to think if anything important had happened on that day that he had forgotten.

 

…

…

…

 

Chocolate brown eyes snapped opened. “…No.” Hide sprung up from the couch and rushed towards his bedroom. Once inside, he ducked down and pulled out a small, worn notebook from underneath his bed all while whispering a soft litany of “no’s” as he did. His hands were trembling as he opened his journal and flicked through the pages. He quickly glanced over past entries, the first being on June 23 of last year when his weird dreams had started, and started counting the months until he neared the very last page.

 

With his heart hammering in his chest, Hide found himself hesitating to reveal the final contents of his notebook. What exactly was he hoping for? To prove he was just jumping to conclusions and his imagination was running away with him? Or maybe to prove his intuition was right once again? But even if he was right, it could all just be a coincidence, right?

 

The blonde sighed before steeling himself to take the plunge. “Guess I won’t know until I check…” With that said, he turned the page and came face-to-face with the date of his final entry in his journal. Now faced with the truth he didn’t know if he should laugh or cry.

 

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick update to make up for the cliffhanger. Hope you all enjoy! :D

Hide cursed to himself for the fifth time this morning as he tapped the backspace key to erase the jumble of nonsense he had accidently typed on his computer screen.

 

The young assistant had been out of it for the past two days straight and his work was suffering because of it. Try as he might his mind couldn’t focus on anything else except Hinata’s birthday and the number of months he’s had the strange dreams. Almost against his will Hide found himself counting the from when the weird dreams started to Hinata’s birth again. From June 23rd to March 19th it was just four days short of nine months. It was still a close thing though…

 

“No, stop it,” the golden haired blonde muttered vehemently, shaking his head as if it would help dispel the stubborn thoughts. The analytical part of his brain kept repeating that it was impossible, that it was just a mere coincidence. And yet his heart chimed that it wasn’t impossible, that somehow, someway Hinata really was his…

 

“Did something happen on March 19th that you feel the need to continually type it?”

 

Hide jumped in surprise, spinning around in his chair to see his boss standing there. “Daisuke-san! Sorry, I was just…sigh…you know what? I honestly don’t know what I’m doing.”

 

“Obviously not getting enough sleep, Racoon-chan.” Daisuke pulled up a chair. “What’s been on your mind? I’ve never seen you so out of it.”

 

Hide wondered whether or not to tell the truth about the situation. After all, it all sounded crazy no matter how hard he tried to make sense of it. In the end, he tried for the more truthful route without revealing too much. “H-Have you ever had something happen to you that was too good to true that it should be impossible, logically it should be impossible! But! But, everything seems to point towards it actually being possible! And…and I really don’t know what to do…” he trailed off, face red and now out of steam.

 

“Sounds like quite a conundrum,” Daisuke started, rubbing his stubbled chin. “But I can tell you that I’ve definitely felt the same way you’re feeling many times in my life. The most important thing is to trust your intuition. And what is your intuition telling you?”

 

The younger male looked down at his scuffed brown shoes, feeling a bit shy. “……It…could be possible…”

 

Daisuke chuckled before petting his assistant on the head. “Then fight for it with everything you’ve got. You’ll never know if this will be your only chance and I don’t want you to live with regret if it is. Trust me, you don’t want to constantly live with regret, wondering what could have been.”

 

_‘I do that enough as it is,’_ Hide thought humorlessly. He sighed and leaned into the warm hand on his head, needing the human contact now.  “Thanks, Boss. I feel a lot better.”

 

“Anytime.”

 

**~OoOoO~**

When Hide got home he immediately went to his bedroom and picked up the worn journal that he had left on his nightstand. Filled with newfound determination, he cracked open the notebook and flipped it to the last page that had held the final entry.

 

“No regrets and trust my intuition.”

 

Laying down on the bed, the young man began to read the passage of words while picturing the dream in his mind’s eye.

 

**_March 19 (Last Year)_ **

****

_“Isn’t he beautiful? Just the most perfect baby boy you’ve ever seen?”_

_“He sure is. Beautiful, just like his Papa, blonde hair and all.”_

_“And he gets his gorgeous silver eyes from his handsome Daddy.”_

_The two shared a long, passionate kiss that was so sweet that it brought one of the men to tears._

_“Hey now. Why are you crying? You’re happy, aren’t you?”_

_“Of course I am. I just never thought I could be this happy. I’m with my soulmate and we now have a child we get to love and raise. I’m just so overjoyed that it’s a little frightening. I don’t want to lose this…”_

_Another kiss, longer this time and filled with reassurance. “I promise I’ll love you forever and always and we’ll raise our baby boy together.”_

_“I’ll hold you to that promise. I love you, Ken.”_

_“I love you too, Hide.”_

_~*~_

 

Hide opened his eyes and willed himself not to cry. That had been the last dream he ever had of his oasis that consisted of he, Kaneki and his newborn. He had known it was all just a dream, had known it would end sooner or later, but it still hurt. Like he had been locked out of Heaven and was now forever stuck in a cold world where Kaneki didn’t love him and he was all alone.

 

A week later Hide had started making plans to leave Tokyo, the crushing feelings of loss along with the feelings of guilt for even having those dreams spurring him on. It hadn’t mattered where he would work or live, he would’ve accepted anything that was available as long as he could get away quickly. It had taken a bit of work and a few favors, but he had a job and a nice apartment set up and waiting for him after a little under a month later. News of his move had been kept under wraps until Hide had stepped foot into his new apartment. Needless to say, Kaneki and even Touka weren’t happy with his abrupt departure without telling them and begged for him to reconsider and move back home. He had apologized and explained that he needed a change of scenery, but would visit as often as he could. They were disappointed, but wished him the best all the same.

 

“And I am doing much better here,” the young man said aloud with certainty and conviction. He had made slow, but steady progress since he moved here and he would only get better with time. That he had no doubt. With one final look at his dream journal, he placed it in the bag that also contained Hinata’s birthday gift.

 

“No regrets.”

 

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right! Feels like we're finally getting somewhere! What will Emiko say once Hide tells her about the dreams? Stay tuned!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth comes out!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took forever and apologise for the long wait. Hopefully it's not too confusing. I wrote this whole chapter on my phone. Any mistakes are mine.

10:15 p.m.

 

For the eighth time today Hide cursed his rotten luck as he finally stepped foot outside of the precinct for the day. Work had been an all day and all night affair after there had been a major break in the case Hide and his team had been working on. 

  
  


For months they had been trying to track down two rogue ghouls, who were suspected of over a dozen murders in the city, and thanks to a tip, the team managed to locate and apprehend one of them. Unfortunately, the more aggressive and higher ranked Ghoul managed to escape and no matter how long and hard the team had looked they couldn't find him. Along with the bad news of having a killer on the loose, Hide had suffered bruises along his side and leg from the scuffle with the ghouls. It wasn't serious enough for a trip to the hospital, but he was going to be walking with a limp for a while.

  
  


"Racoon-chan, are you sure you don't want a ride home?" Daisuke asked, stepping up from behind the tired blonde to put an arm around him. "I don't like the thought of leaving you to walk home while you're injured."

  
  


"M'fine Boss, my leg doesn't hurt that bad. Besides, I have a few errands to run before I go home and you have a long drive home ahead of you."

  
  


The Lead Detective looked like he wanted to argue, but gave in with a sigh. "Well, if you're sure, but I want you to call me when you get home."

  
  


"Will do, Boss," Hide replied, giving a mock salute. He watched as the older man went to his car and drove off before turning and walking the opposite way. 

  
  


Once he was clear of the office and no one was around the young man finally dropped the facade and let himself sag wearily from the stress of the day's events. While it was true he wasn't going straight home he had nowhere else to be. Looking down at his phone the blonde saw the many alerts that had gone off today to remind him about Hinata's birthday party. When he had realized earlier in the day that he was going to be late he had sent Emiko a text message explaining that he wouldn't be able to make it on time. She replied back saying that she understood and both she and Hinata would be waiting for him. Unfortunately, that had been nine hours ago and Hide doubted she was still waiting.

  
  


"Maybe this is a sign that I shouldn't go through with this," Hide said aloud, his doubts starting to creep back up on him. The more he thought about telling Emiko about the dreams the more he thought about what could go wrong. Worst case scenario would be her barring him from seeing Hinata again, and maybe even getting a restraining order.

  
  


"That is, if she even wants to see me given that I failed to show up today…" 

  
  


Suddenly, his phone vibrated and lit up with a new message displayed on the small screen.

  
  


_ Are you still coming? _

  
  


Brown eyes widened with surprise. Emiko had sent the message. Was she still okay with him coming despite how late it was? Hands trembling, Hide quickly wrote back.

  
  


_ Yes, if that's okay! _

  
  


A few moments passed before the matron sent her next message.

  
  


_ Wonderful! We'll be waiting for you! _

  
  


Hide couldn't believe his luck! He thought the older woman would be upset with him, and yet here she was willing to let him come to the orphanage so late at night! What a wonderful woman!

  
  


_ Thank you so much! I'll be there as soon as I can! _

  
  


Message sent, Hide shoved his phone back in his pocket and hobbled as fast as he possibly could to Shady Grove's Orphanage. By the time the young man made it to his destination he was out of breath and his injured leg felt like it was going to give out at any second. True to her word, Emiko was waiting for him at the door, a kind and happy smile on her face. 

  
  


"Glad you could finally make it, Hide-kun."

  
  


"Thank you for having me! I'm so sorry that I'm late I…!"

  
  


"No need to apologise, dear. Judging from your appearance, I can tell you've had a rough day at work." Wrapping a steadying arm around his she led Hide inside. "I've prepared some coffee for us. There's also something I want to discuss with you."

  
  


"There's something I want to talk to you about, too." Hide replied, clutching the handle of the gift bag a little tighter. "And coffee sounds wonderful right now."

  
  


In no time, they were settled in her office with cups of coffee between them. Emiko had also provided Hide with an ice pack and some pain-killers to ease the pain in his leg. The matron truly was a Godsend.

  
  


"I'll let you go first. What was it that you wanted to talk about, Hide-kun?"

  
  


Said male felt his heart lurch, but he had come too far to back down now. Reaching down, he pulled out his journal that he had painstakingly went through and marked each entry date with either green or red tabs and handed it to the older woman. He then instructed her to read only the entries with the green tabs and avoid the red ones entirely.

  
  


"What's this, Hide-kun?"

  
  


It was now or never. So after taking a deep breath, Hide began his story. 

  
  


He told her about the inescapable dreams that started plaguing him one year and nine months ago. He told her about the little slice of heaven that was his dream world and his lover that he shared it with. He told her about how his belly started growing larger as it housed a new life inside him despite the fact that he was male. He told her about how happy he had been even while knowing it was all a dream. And finally, he told her about the small baby boy with pale blonde hair and silver eyes that he held in his arms on the very last night he had the strange dreams. 

  
  


March 19th. 

  
  


When Hide said all that he could, he waited with bated breath for the woman, who had unknowingly become Judge, Jury, and Executioner of his fate, to give her verdict.

  
  


A few moments later, Emiko reached the end of the notebook and set it down on her desk with so many emotions running across her withered face that Hide couldn't gauge her mood. He felt like he got his answer when she quickly stood up from her seat and walked past him towards the door.

  
  


_ '...She doesn't believe me…'  _ Hide thought, body trembling as dread washed over him. His eyes burned with unshed tears as he waited for the inevitable sound of the door opening and security being called in to escort him from the premises. He wished he could've seen Hinata one last time…

  
  


But it wasn't the office door that he heard being opened, but the file cabinet drawer instead. Soon after, Emiko walked back around and stood in front of the blonde male, a pale blue envelope in her hands.

  
  


"... For you, Hide-kun," she whispered, her eyes glistening and mouth curled up in a warm, sweet smile.

  
  


After taking the envelope he asked shyly, "W-What is it?"

  
  


"Open it up and see," she encouraged.

  
  


As carefully as he could, Hide opened the envelope and pulled out of the letter that was inside it, nearly dropping it when he read who it was addressed to.

  
  


" _ To My Fellow Miracle Mother _ ," Hide read out loud in an awed voice. He looked back up at the matron, who continued to smile at him.

  
  


"Keep reading."

  
  


Hide did so.

  
  


_ If you are reading this letter then that means that Fate has finally been able to bring you and our Hinata-chan together. And with that, let me congratulate you on becoming a mother!  _

  
  


_ This was such a strange ordeal, wasn't it? At least it was for me. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was overjoyed. But unfortunately as time went on I couldn't feel that connection, that bond that one feels with their baby. I thought it might've been that I was nervous about becoming a mother for the first time, but then the dreams started.  _

  
  


_ Did you have those dreams, too? The dream where the Moon and Sun danced together over a field of beautiful flowers? I had that dream so many times that it scared me. I think I caught a glimpse of you one night, you and another man. It was then that I understood what was happening and I wasn't scared anymore. _

  
  


_ It had been a very hard decision to put Hinata up for adoption; I still wasn't 100 percent sure that the dreams, but I had known deep in my heart that he wasn't meant to be mine. Call it 'Mother's Intuition'. I just had to trust that things would work out. And since you're reading this letter, I guess they did! _

  
  


_ Once again, let me congratulate and thank you for finding Hinata. I pray that you love him as much as I would've loved him and more. _

  
  


_ Wishing you all the best, _

_ -Higurashi Asumi _

  
  


Hide had no idea he was crying until the matron handed him some tissues and wrapped her arms around his trembling form. Tears of joy, tears of guilt, and tears of sheer relief were all shed until they ran dry.

  
  


"... Admittedly, I didn't believe her at first," Emiko said quietly as Hide slowly calmed down. "To me, she was just another young woman running away from her responsibility of raising a child. Just like so many others." She shook her head and laughed, "But Asumi-chan had been adamant! Made me promise to find Hinata's "true mother" and all that. Eventually, I gave in and promised her, not really believing I would ever find this supposed mystery person…but then I saw you…"

  
  


"You mean, that day in the grocery store?"

  
  


"That's right. I had nearly forgotten the promise until I saw you and saw how much you resembled Hinata-chan. At first I thought you were the father, shirking your responsibilities like Asumi-chan might've been. But then you told me that you had just moved away from Tokyo at the time, and I could tell you were being honest with me. So when we parted ways, I truly began to consider whether Asumi-chan was telling the truth. And the more I thought about it the more I began to believe it. But what really sealed the deal was when you showed me the picture of your friend and his family." 

  
  


Hide winced at this which caused Emiko to give him a sympathetic smile.

  
  


"He's the one, right? The lover from your dreams? They share the same silver eyes, that man and Hinata-chan."

  
  


The young man nodded sadly. "I always felt so guilty having those dreams about him despite how happy I was. It was like I was betraying him somehow."

  
  


Emiko ran a comforting hand through Hide's blonde hair. "I can understand why you would feel that way, but Hide-kun, there's no way that a miracle like Hinata-chan could ever be conceived if the feelings between the two of you weren't completely mutual. That's what I believe."

  
  


Hide blinked back tears at the thought of Kaneki loving him back. Even if that were a possibility, it would never work out between them now, Kaneki having a wife and child and all. He gave a half-hearted shrug. "Maybe."

  
  


Seeing Hide's mood dampening, Emiko changed the subject by asking him if he wanted to see the birthday boy.

  
  


"Yes, please!" Hide chirped, brightening quickly. "Ah, but is it really okay? I don't want to wake him up."

  
  


Emiko chuckled, offering her arm to the blonde once again to lead him to where the child was. "It's quite alright. Hinata-chan is usually still awake at this hour. It'll be something that you'll have to get used to when you start taking care of him."

  
  


"I see, I... wait...what?!" He stops dead in his tracks, pulling them up short. His mind now whirling due to the woman's words. "E-Emiko-san, what…?"

  
  


The elder gave the other a fond, yet exasperated smile. "Nagachika Hideyoshi, did you seriously think I wouldn't let you adopt Hinata-chan after all of  **_that_ ** ?!"

  
  


Hide shrugged helplessly. "I had already resigned myself for the worst."

  
  


"Well I guess I can't blame you, given the circumstances." She paused before saying, "Hide-kun, there's something I need to tell you about Hinata-chan…"

  
  


"Let me guess-Hinata is a ghoul, right?"

  
  


"Wha-How did you know?!"

 

"Call it 'Mother's Intuition'," he said mischievously. When she didn't look convinced, he continued. "It was the little things that added up. How strong Hinata was, how you didn't have any food with you except for coffee and water that time at the park, and you're awfully strong as well for someone of your age, hinting that you might not be human either. Not that I'm saying that you're old or anything! Truth is, I've spent a lot of time with ghouls to pick up on these things. I'm even best friends with one. So, you don't have to worry about me not wanting Hinata anymore just because he's a ghoul."

  
  


Emiko looked relieved. "You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that."

  
  


Soon, they made it to the wing of the orphanage that housed the infants. A woman was kneeling down on the colorful carpeted floor, surrounded by a handful of babies happily crawling around her. 

  
  


"Hana-chan," the old matron called, alerting the twenty-something year old woman with shoulder length black hair and bright blue eyes. Hide remembered meeting her at the park, along with the other children there. "Our special guest has arrived."

  
  


"Well, it's about time!" Hana said with a smirk. She picked up one of the babies that Hide immediately recognized as Hinata, and started over. "Look who's here to see you, Hina-chan!"

  
  


When silver eyes caught sight of Hide, Hinata let out a happy sounding gurgle, arms reaching out to him.

  
  


"Hey there, little guy," Hide said when his... child was placed in his arms. He was sure his heart would burst when Hinata tugged off his mask and touched his scarred face without fear. What did he ever do to deserve such a sweet baby boy? "It's so good to see you again. I apologise for being so late, but I hope the gift I got you makes up for it." Hinata responded with a soft giggle.

  
  


"I've never seen Hina-chan react to anyone else that way," Hana remarked in an awed tone. "You two must really have a special bond."

  
  


_ 'A bond, huh?' _ Hide thought as his mind drifted back to the letter from Asumi. Guilt welled up inside him again at the reminder that he had inadvertently taken her firstborn child. If he ever got the chance he would do everything in his power to make it up to her. But for now, all he could do was love and raise Hinata just like she wanted him to.

  
  


That, Hide promised.

  
  


***OoOoO***

  
  


Freshly showered and properly medicated and bandaged up, Hide sat curled up in his bed with a ringing phone to his ear. He knew his chances were slim, and his best bet would've been just to wait for them to call him instead, but this was too important to wait.

  
  


His fathers were retired and were currently traveling the world together and most of the time it was hard to get in contact with them. They had offered him a spot on their trip, but blonde had declined, wanting some space in order to find himself. There were days he regretted that decision, but now he knows he made the right choice.

  
  
  


After a few more rings, someone on the other side finally picked up.

  
  


"Hide! So nice of you to call! How's my sweet boy doing?"

  
  


"Hey Dad. I'm doing a lot better now actually. I have some news to tell you and Papa. Is he nearby?"

  
  


"Sure he is. Give me one second and I'll put it on speaker phone." A few moments later, a second voice could be heard. 

  
  


"My son," came a gruff, yet kind voice. "I trust you are doing well? What's this news you want to tell us? I pray it's good news."

  
  


Hide knew that explaining the how's and the why's of Hinata's existence would be the hardest thing ever to explain to his parents, but he was positive they love him just the same. "It's the best news ever! Congratulations! You're now officially Grandparents!"

 

**To Be Continued**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So originally, I wasn't going to make Emiko a ghoul, but then I thought it might be nice for Hide to have a strong mother-like figure to help him raise his ghoul baby. I still don't know if I want Hinata to be a full or half ghoul.
> 
> Also does anyone know Hide's parents' names?
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Hopefully the next one won't take as long.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse. Sorry for the short chapter.

“Wow~! What a bountiful breakfast spread! Sou-chan, I think our son is trying to butter us up!”

 

 

“I do believe you’re right, Haruto.”

 

 

Hide had the decency to blush because he was guilty of doing just that. On the kitchen table were all his parents’ favorite foods, hoping it would appease them just a bit. He was sure he would need to leniency when he finally got around to telling them the whole truth about their new grandson. Still, he tried to play it off.

 

 

“Are you saying I can’t make something special for the both of you because I love and missed you?!”He asked in an innocent tone as he poured his fathers’ each of a cup of tea. “I’m so hurt!”

 

 

“I’m not saying that that’s impossible,” started Sousuke, a stern looking brunette with streaks of grey hair and dark blue eyes. He adjusted his glasses and gave his son a hard stare. “I just think that it’s more likely you made this feast for us as a distraction to stop us from asking questions like: Where our grandson is? Or where the mother is? Or why you never told us you were dating anyone, or why you didn’t tell us about the baby sooner if he’s already a one year old?”

 

 

As always Sousuke didn’t beat around the bush. Hide both loved and hated that about his dear old dad. “W-Well Pop I…”

 

 

“Now, Honey,” chuckled Haruto, a cheerful looking redhead with deep violet eyes and his hair pulled back in a low ponytail. He placed a hand on his husband’s arm. “I’m sure Hide-chan will tell us everything in due time.” He then gave his son an expectant look. “Hopefully after breakfast?”

 

 

Hide inwardly let out a sigh of relief. “After breakfast,” he affirmed with a nod and sat down at the table across from his parents. While they ate they used this time to catch up with each other. Haruto fussed over Hide’s still healing face while Sousuke asked about how Hide’s job was going and how he was going to handle raising a son on top of that. Hide answered the questions honestly. While he still felt pain along his jaw it was getting better. As to how he would raise Hinata, he decided he would take a leave of absence from work until he got everything settled and then he would switch to a desk job at the precinct for the time being. With a smile, his parents approved.

 

 

Soon enough, the small group finished eating and Hide announced that it was time to go meet Hinata and Emiko. A short taxi ride later the three found themselves in front of the Shady Grove Orphanage. Almost immediately, his parents started asking questions.

 

 

“This is an orphanage, Hide! You’re adopting a child?!”

 

 

“Yes, well no. I mean, I’ll explain when we’re inside!”

 

 

“Don’t tell me you had a one-night stand, got someone pregnant, and decided to raise the child yourself!”

 

 

“Yes…no…yes…I’ll explain when we’re inside!”

 

 

With a firm push Hide managed to get the older men inside the building where Hana was waiting for them at the front desk. After quick introductions Hana led the group to the main office and promised to return with Emiko and Hinata. Hide chose to go with her, needing to talk to Emiko in private before she met his family.

 

 

“Sou-chan, I’m starting to get a little worried here,” said Haruto with a frown as he paced about the office, waiting almost impatiently for their son to return. When they first got the call Hide that he had a son he had been very excited, but when Hide remained tight-lipped about the baby save for his name and age, he couldn’t stop his imagination from running wild. The last thing he wanted was for his precious son to involve himself with someone and end up hurt again. Watching it all happen the first time had been hard enough. Even though Hide tried to persuade them not to, both Haruto and Sousuke couldn’t help but feel resentment towards the one that hurt their baby.

 

 

Sousuke tried to be reassuring. “I am as well, but we’ll have to trust our son, even if he is too secretive about this.” Before either man could say anything else, Hide and Emiko finally entered the room with little baby in the blonde’s arms.

 

 

“Papa, Dad, I’d like you to meet your grandson, Hinata and the wonderful woman who brought us together, Emiko-san!”

 

 

“Good afternoon, gentlemen,” the matron greeted warmly with a bow.

 

 

Sousuke and Haruto returned the greeting. Sousuke stepped forward and shook the woman’s hand. “Emiko-san, I can’t thank you enough for taking such good care our son and grandson. Thank you for making all of this happen.”

 

 

The older woman laughed. “Oh it was no trouble at all. I’m just happy I was in the right place at the right time. Has Hide-kun told you anything about Hinata’s birth yet?”

 

 

“No, I’m afraid. Our son hasn’t been very forthcoming with such details.”

 

 

“I-I just wanted you guys to meet Hinata first!” Hide whined. “Here Dad, dontcha want to hold Hina-chan?”

 

Haruto gushed, hands already reaching for the baby. “Oh he is so cute!,” He squealed loudly. Hinata gurgled happily, his mood matching Haruto’s. “So cute!” he cooed. “You look just like Hide…and a little of someone else I know…”

 

 

“I…uh…yeah. That’s kind of why I couldn’t really explain. Not by myself anyway. Well, I’m sure it will be hard even with help.”

 

 

Emiko cleared her throat. “I’m sure that you are all wondering how our little Hinata came to be. And Hide-kun and l will try to explain as best we can, but I ask that you keep an open mind. There are simply things in this world that go beyond our understanding.”

 

 

The two parents looked at each before nodding hesitantly. With a small smile, Emiko pulled out Asumi’s letter while Hide pulled out his journal.

 

**~OoOoO~**

 

When the group of men made it back to Hide’s apartment, all was quiet while the parents tried to absorb what they had just heard. Hide couldn’t blame them. He didn’t quiet believe it either even with the evidence supporting it. Emiko had suggested that come back again tomorrow after having more time to take everything in.

 

 

“I’ll get dinner started,” Haruto said, speaking for the first time since they left the orphanage. “Hide-chan, can you help in here?”

 

 

“Yes, Dad.”

 

 

The two worked quietly; Hide slicing up the vegetables while Haruto worked on the meat. After about fifteen minutes, the red-headed let a sudden sigh and said, “Fate sure is a twisted bitch.”

 

 

Hearing his father who rarely swore say such a thing startled a laugh out of Hide. “Dad~ Language~!” he said between huffs of laughter.

 

 

Haruto smiled, happy to hear a genuine laugh from his son. It had been too long. “But am I wrong though?

 

 

“No…hehe, no you’re not.”

 

 

“And sure, I’m not completely thrilled with the circumstances, Hinata is a wonderful consolation gift. Well, he much more than that, but you get what I’m saying.”

 

 

“Yeah, I do. It’s pretty scary when I first met him, feeling such a soul-deep connection when I first held him in my arms. And when I found that he really was my son, it made everything I went through worth it. Is it…weird to feel that way?”

 

 

“Of course not. Now you know how your papa and I felt when we first met you!”

 

 

Hide had heard the story of how his adoptive fathers met, and what they had to go through in order to stay together. First, the rejection from their parents, then running away and eloping, surviving on their own without any support from their loved ones, and then finally finding a place that would let them adopt. They had been through a lot, yet they made it to the other side still happily in love with each other. Hide had found inspiration in his parents love and had hoped if he kept fighting long and hard enough he would have the same type of relationship with Kaneki. Unfortunately, they weren’t meant to be together…right?

 

 

_‘Sigh. Dad was right. Fate really was a twisted **bitch…** ’_

 

 

“So have you told Kaneki yet about your child, yet?”

 

 

Hide’s shoulders sagged. “…Not yet. I mean, how would I even began to explain that we have a child together, all because of a series of dreams? Not to mention the guy is married. Do you think I should tell him?”

 

 

“That’s something you’re going to have to decide on your own. But regardless of what you choose to do, just know that we’ll support you no matter what.” With that said, he pulled Hide close and pecked his forehead. “Alright, I think Sou-chan has had enough time digest everything that’s happened, so it will be good to try talking with him now.” He gave the blonde a slight push. “Go on. I’ll finish up the cooking.”

 

 

Hide did as he was told and quietly joined his papa in the living room. Sousuke remained silent on the couch. His face not giving away anything.

 

 

When it looked like the older man was still lost in thought Hide decided to speak. “Pops, I’m sorry for all of this. I can tell you’re pretty disappointed due to this less than ideal situation but…”

 

 

“I’m not disappointed,” the other man interrupted. He removed his glasses and rubbed at his tired eyes before patting the space on the couch for his son to sit down. When Hide had done so, he wrapped an arm around him and continued. “I’m still in a state of shock and am more than a little confused, but I’m definitely not disappointed. Especially not in you. It wasn’t your fault that any of this happened, and it’s like Emiko-san said, there is plenty of things in this world that go beyond our understanding. I can tell that you really love Hinata and I can tell you’ll be a great father. Just remember that you have me and your dad here to help you whenever you need it.”

 

 

Chest swelling up with emotion, Hide buried his face in his father’s shoulder and said, “Thanks Pops.”

 

 

“Anytime, son.”

 

 

“So you think you and Dad will want more grandchildren after this?”

 

 

“Let’s wait and if you can handle Hinata. Haruto and I learned early on that just having you was enough. You were such a handful back then. Hell, you still are.”

 

 

“But you guys still love me, right?”

 

 

“Always.”

 

 

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added the parents because Hide needs a good support system, especially now that he's going to be a single father (for now anyway XD)


End file.
